


maybe in another life, maybe in another world

by drcosimacormier95



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Feelings, Pain, lena dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-09-24 16:03:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9769574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drcosimacormier95/pseuds/drcosimacormier95
Summary: Lena Luthor has always been in the grey area. Sometimes good, sometimes evil. Simply something in between. But in the end... in the end, the bad in her wins (or does it?) and Kara Danvers breaks down as the woman she loves dies on her arms.A LOT OF ANGST, FEELINGS AND PAIN OKAY YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I saw a tumblr post (I think every supercorp shipper out there has seen it) about how Lena has always been evil and playing Kara since the beginning + she is going to die in 2x15 saying something like ''you tried to change me Kara Danvers, but some people are just bad.''... IT GAVE ME LOTS OF FEELINGS I HAD TO WRITE DOWN!  
> First part is Kara's POV. Second it's Lena's. Third is Kara's again.  
> Enjoy the ride!

i.

She has always been known for believing. Believing that people are good, that everyone deserves a second - a third chance, that everyone can be saved. She is known for her _faith_ in people. As Supergirl and as Kara Danvers, she is always willing to fight and never give up on anyone.

So how can she give up on the one she loves?

She doesn't. She can't.

Even when everyone tells her it's too late. Lena Luthor is too far gone. ''She has turned evil'' they say.

She can't.

She can't let this be the way things go.

She can't lose the love of her life like this... It's not how it's supposed to go.

It is supposed to be them, a Luthor and a Super, working together, beating tradition, being stronger together, helping each other, making each other better.

She is in the training room, punching concrete and crying. She is crying like she has only cried a few times in her life. The feeling of despair is making it's way inside her and she doesn't know what to do with it. She doesn't know how to push all these emotions away. She doesn't know how to save Lena, how to reach her... And it's killing her.

She rests her forehead against a piece of concrete and closes her eyes, letting the tears fall quietly.

She misses Lena. Rao, how she misses the brunette.

She misses the long nights talking and talking on the woman's couch, their dinners and lunch dates.

Some of her friends have told her that Lena has been playing her all along, since the beginning, since their first meeting. And maybe it's true, maybe the woman has always had darkness inside of her... But there's also light. Kara has seen it many times. And she knows- she knows Lena has feelings for her. They have never talked about it. Not directly anyway. But Lena has always shown her love.

''Hey.'', Alex says, announcing her presence in the room.

Kara looks up at her, ''Hey.''

She doesn't say anything else for a while, but her sister waits. Alex knows her so well.

''It took me a while to figure it out you know'' Kara says, breaking the silence and letting out a bitter laugh.

''Figure out what?''

''That she-that she had feelings for me.''

''Oh.''

''Yeah. I have always been slow when it comes to this kind of things but with her- Rao- I was a mess.'', she sighs, closing her eyes and opening them again, she faces the concrete in front of her and not her sister, ''But then I began to notice. How she looked at me when she thought I wasn't aware. How she insisted on sending me flowers all the time and always my favorites. How she remembered every little thing I ever told her.'' Kara frowns a little, trying to swallow her tears, ''How she smiled at me. I have never seen her smile like that to anyone else.''

''Everyone could tell she liked you Kara.''

''Liked'', Kara says. And it tastes bitter on her tongue. She looks at her sister, ''She kissed me.''

Alex eyes widden but she doesn't say anything, so Kara continues, ''A few weeks ago, before-before it all went to hell. Before her mother came back. Before she-before.'', more tears come and start falling from her eyes and she can't. She can't fight it anymore so she just breaks down.

Her sister rushes to her side, wraping her arms around the alien's shoulders, ''Hey breathe Kara, breathe.''

''I refuse to believe it Alex, I- she can't- she can't have done that. She can't be doing _this_.''

''I know honey I know it's hard.''

''I-I'' Kara chokes out, ''I love her Alex. Rao, I love her so much.''

''I know sis I know.''

They stay in the same position for a while till Kara can think again and wipe her tears.

Winn enters the room, stopping for a while when he notices the situation the Danvers sisters are.

''What is it?'' Kara says a little bit rispid. She doesn't mean to. She is just-just tired.

Her friend understands and nods, ''We- we have a location on Lena Luthor and Lillian Luthor.''

Kara looks ahead, not really focusing on the two of them.

''Where?'' Alex asks.

''Downtown, at a park in front of a alien hospital.'"

''Okay I'm gonna get a team ready and we are out in five.''

Kara doesn't move though. Alex notices and grabs her sister's hand, ''You don't need to come.''

''You know I do.''

''I know. I will meet you there.''

The kryptonian gives her sister a small nod and in a second Alex and Winn are out of the room, leaving her alone with her despair and her pain again.

* * *

 ii. 

Ever since she was a kid, for as long as she can remember, there was always something inside her. Something... bad. She really can't find another word to describe it. She wishes she could.

She had decided to let that part of her win. What was the point in resisting anyway? Her whole ''family'' was batshit crazy and evil. Who was she to fight it?

But then.

Then she met Kara fucking Danvers. She met Supergirl.

And how things changed. She changed.

Suddenly she wanted to fight. Suddenly she wanted to resist and be... good.

And she tried. She really fucking did...

She loves Kara. She has absolutely no doubt about that. She has never felt such strong emotions, feelings, towards someone in her entire life as she does for the kryptonian.

And even now, as she helps her mother follow with her plan to target and destroy a hospital for aliens, her heart breaks, knowing it will change how Kara feels about her forever. Things will never be alright between them again.

But she is a Luthor.

Isn't this how is supposed to go? Isn't this who she is?

She honestly doesn't know anymore.

And Lillian promised to let Kara and Clark alone.

She needs to make sure her mother keeps that promise. She needs to make sure.

They are downtown, at a park in front of the target. Her mother's minios are scaring the population and she rolls her eyes.

''Can't you just get it over with?''

''Patience my daughter.''

She sighs and that's when Kara-Supergirl lands in front of her.

For a moment they just look at each other. Lena doesn't really believe her eyes for a second.

God, she missed the blonde.

She wishes she could touch her. Hug her. Kiss her.

Kiss her like she did in her office a few weeks ago... before she decided to help her mother. Before she ruined their chance at a - maybe - happy ending.

''Supergirl'', Lillian says amused, ''So glad you could join us.''

''Lillian you need to stop. There are innocent lives inside that building. You can't do this.''

''Oh I can and I will. But first... I have a few toys I want to test on you.'' Lillian nods and one of her minions approaches Kara, clearly with kryptonite somewhere because the hero is suddenly on the ground crying in pain.

''Stop! You said you weren't going to hurt her!''

Her mother raises her eyebrow at her and then looks back at Supergirl

Lena realizes then her mother will never keep her promises.

But she can't.

She can't let this happen. Not to Kara.

Alex, Maggie, J'onn and other DEO agents reach the perimeter and look at the scene in shock but before they can do anything Lena reaches for her gun and fires it at the man who is hurting Kara in the head. He falls to the ground, and the pain Kara is feeling suddenly stops.

No one really understands it, but before they have time to process, Lena is aiming the gun at her mother and shooting twice.

What she doesn't expect is Hank Henshaw also firing his weapon.

At her.

J'onn manages to drop him to the floor but it's too late.

She is alread bleeding and falling to her knees.

Lena falls not far away from Kara, she raises her hands to her abdomen, the blood already flowing.

''No!'' Kara screams, and in a moment she is in front of Lena, also on her knees, holding the woman and bringing her close, ''No, no, no, no, please no.''

''Kara it's- it's okay.''

''No! Stay still! You are gonna be fine I'm-I'm taking you to the hospital.''

''We both-we both know there's no use. I'm dying. And-and it's okay.''

''It's not okay!'' Kara screams, tears falling from her eyes. ''Please Lena, please. I love you.''

''You know I would never hurt you-you, right? I-I couldn't let her-''

''I know. I know.''

''Good.'', the brunette says, her eyes closing against her will.

She just wants to look at Kara for a little longer.

''Lena! Open your eyes, dont you dare leave me like this.'' Kara begs.

And God, if she could. If she could she would never leave Kara's side again.

She opens her eyes, ''You tried to change me Kara Danvers. You almost did save me. But in the end, I guess I'm-I'm just bad.''

''No, no you are not! You are good. You just saved my life. You-you are the best thing that has ever happened to me.''

Lena smiles, with her eyes closed now, ''I-I'm glad I didn't-didn't change you.''

''But you did. You changed me for better. Lena please-please don't leave me.''

Blood starts coming to Lena's mouth and she knows.

This is it.

She uses the last drop of strength left in her body and opens her eyes, she just needs to see those beautiful blue eyes one more time, ''I- I love you Kara.'', she manages to say, ''I-I always'', a pause, ''have.''

And she is gone.

* * *

 iii.

She doesn't know how long she stayed on the floor, in the middle of street, with her face against Lena's neck, breathing her smell and begging - begging - for anyone, anything, to bring the woman she loves back to her.

She doesn't really know how she got here either.

She remembers going to the DEO.

She remembers Alex helping her take her suit off and she remembers water.

She thinks she took a shower.

The only way she is clean right now is if she took a shower...

She looks at her hands. There's no longer blood on them. Lena's blood.

She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before opening them again.

She doesn't know why she is here.

Why is she in Lena's apartment?

Why is she inside Lena's bedroom, staring at the dead woman's bed? She doesn't have a clue.

All she knows is that she is angry.

For the first time in her life she wants to kill, she wants to destroy...

And so she does.

She starts by shoving Lena's nightstands to the floor. She steps on them till theres only dust left.

Then she goes to the closet and pulls all the clothes, dropping them on the ground.

Next she aims for the bed and throws it on the closet, watching it all get destroyed.

She is making her way out of the bedroom when something catches her eye.

A white box was underneath Lena's bed.

She frowns.

She thinks about ignoring it and getting away from this place. Away from the memories she has in this apartment and it's dead owner.

But curiosity wins so she takes the box and brings it with her till the living room. Sitting on the couch she opens it.

There are only two things inside: a paper and a necklace.

She reaches for the necklace first and notices the rock attached to it it's green. A really different, special kind of green.

It would match perfectly Lena's eyes. It's the same green that Kara loves-loved, she corrects herself.

She puts the piece of jewelry next to her on the couch and reaches then for the piece of paper.

She notices there's writing on it and her eyes get watery when she sees the name ''Kara Zor-El'' written on the top of the page.

She recognizes the writting immediately...Lena's.

She swallows hard and closes her eyes, letting tears fall. She can't do this. She can't. The pain is too much, she feels like she is going to combust any second.

But she has to. Lena left this for her... so she starts reading it.

_''Kara Zor-El,_

_I really hope it's you who is reading this right now. I really hope you found this._

_And, if you are reading this, it can only mean one thing:  I've left this world._

_Something happened and if I would have to bet, I would say my mom didn't keep her promise of letting you live, so I had to intervene._

_I want you to know that no one has ever had so much power over me as you did._

_I want you to know that it's okay. I would have died for you over and over again._

_I honestly think I was dead before you came into my life.  And I started to really live the day you loved me._

_Don't cry Kara._

_Great things are coming. You are going to have a long, happy life, my love._

_The necklace in the box is for you. But it's not meant to be a sad reminder of me, or a burden for you to carry._

_It's meant to be a reminder of my love for you. Of how you made me try to be a better person. I might not have succeded, but that isn't your fault._

_Maybe in another life, another world, things will be different... and you and I will make it._

_I love you Kara. Always have. And whatever is next for me, know this: I'm going to keep loving you._

_Yours forever,_

_Lena.''_

* * *

The end.


End file.
